Below is the list of quotes that I have written to go onto my sculpture. I have also wrote the ideas for the photographs for each quote, although at this stage these are only rough ideas.

1.You grow up hearing everybody say, ‘she’s just quiet’.  The school reports claiming, ‘Kirsty doesn’t speak much in class’. And everyone tells you that’s it’s just a phase. You’ll soon grow out of it and everything will be okay. But what if you don’t grow out of it. What if growing up means you get worse? You surround yourself with family because it’s the only comfort you can find. For a while you’re happy. You have a happy childhood, but there is always something missing. You look back on childhood photos and think, where did it all go wrong?

Photographs of when I was a child, showing how I was happy. Family will be included in these photographs to represent what made me feel comfortable. The comparison between childhood images and photographs of me now ask the question, where did it all go wrong?

2. There’s an emptiness that’s fills your teenage years. Going to university was supposed to be the best three years of my life, but ended up being the worst. You start to question yourself. Why can’t I make friends? What’s wrong with me? That’s when the loneliness kicks in. You spend so much time alone, that you begin to become comfortable with loneliness.

Doing my BA course at university and moving away from home made my anxiety so much worse. I become depressed and so isolated from people that I experienced such low times and loneliness. The idea of spending time alone and loneliness with be the may theme of the photographs attached to this quote. I may include a landscape in which I appear but small within the image, implying that I am alone.

3.After a while you become non-existent. You have a fear to make any form of conversation, a fear of rejection People stop trying to talk to you because they don’t know what to say and you know that you’re hard to talk to but there’s nothing you can do to make it better. No-body notices you anymore and you begin to become so removed from everything around you.

This image will be a simple self portrait, yet I will scratch the surface of the image to show that I am no longer noticeable and represent the idea of becoming removed from your surroundings.

4.You feel so lost in this world.

Once again I will include a landscape for this layer, but this time there will be nothing else within the image. It shows how consumed by my surroundings I can feel and once again plays on the idea of emptiness/loneliness.

5.You feel yourself sinking, further and further. Trying to grasp onto any part of recovery that you can to stop you loosing yourself.  

This layer will show me submerged in water, almost drowning. This shows me at my lowest when I struggle with everything around me. This layer will be slightly repeated later on, yet will change to recovery.

6.The reflection in the mirror isn’t me. On the outside I am smiling. Underneath, I am suffocating. I’m juggling so much pain; physical, emotional and before you know it the cracks start to show.

A simple reflection of me in the mirror, yet the mirror may be cracked to represent what the true reality that people may not see when I put on a front. The idea of two personalities will be played with.

7. Social anxiety doesn’t just affect your mind. You feel like you can’t breathe. Like everything around you is rushing by and you can’t stand still. Your heart starts to beat faster. Palms clench. The whole-body tenses and you struggle to focus your mind on anything.

Images out of focus of different body parts mentioned within the quote. This will focus on the idea of everything rushing by, whilst demonstrating that social anxiety isn’t just mental, but also has physical affects.

8. But you have to find a way to hold on. You must find a way to breathe again.

This links with the easier idea of me being submerged in water, however this time being able to breathe which show the start the of the recovery process.

9. Only you are responsible for your happiness. You must create it. You choose your thoughts, your perceptions and your love.

Linked to image from previous module. Hugging myself in order to create happiness. The idea of self love and choosing to get better.

10.And when you find somebody who accepts you, even with all your faults, everything changes. You open up to them in a way you never thought you could with anyone.

Being in a relationship and initially meeting somebody is such a struggle when suffering with social anxiety, so to open up to them and act yourself around somebody is rare. However, when you do find somebody you rely on this person so much can no longer imagine being on your own again. I will simply have a photo holding hands with this person, yet the image will be simplistic so that the focus is solely on this.

11. You realise that the world has so much to offer.

Nature picture. Linking with the previous module where I contrasted self portraits with landscape/nature picture to represent chaos and peace.